You remind me of a time when I was grateful for the air that gave of itself at every breath.
Complete in surrender, in hope, in death, in delight, in potential.
You remind me of a time when it felt safe to be in the sun's light.
Safe to be warm, to be new, to be used, to be old.
You remind me of a time when water was savored.
Comfort in being refreshed, renewed, alive.
You remind me when my affections were welcome.
Appreciation and love and joy were familiar possibilities.
What's important is I remembered.
Journal Archive: 31 December 2013
I am incredibly privileged to meet some of the most interesting and beautiful women in my life. Many of them are healers and others are not, just plain beautiful wise souls that I get to experience this life with, who bring healing to me anyway. They radiate with love and nurturing and kindness and power and divinity and wisdom.
I recently had an exceptional evening. Before the work day ended I told the universe I needed a healing session. I was so down and out, and I understood why people would choose to end their lives. To make the pain stop. I was tired. I got it.
Being new to San Francisco, I haven't quite gotten my bearings and gotten to know other healers to have sessions with or to talk about fairies and power animals. Always, like magic, the universe delivers. She sends me so much love across the sea (or the Bay Bridge) in the form of wise women.
In this evening's more in depth session, my healer pointed out that I was being hard on myself. This wasn't a surprise. I know this. Being hard on myself was part of my story. This is something many of us experience. In my case, I've been working on myself and in a way, expected perfection already. I put pressure on myself to achieve and have certain things to prove to myself I had gotten over my own junk. That I was past the junk. Naively - that this junk was no longer a part of me or my story.
I made myself believe I could hack the human experience through healing (ha!). I lost sight of self love and self acceptance. I was reminded that my junk is endearing. Make peace with thy junk so other souls don't give you shit about it. I was generating situations and attracting behavior in people I was ashamed to be in the past, which have made way to the present for me to make peace with.
It was calling me to a deeper sense of self love. And self acceptance. These are concepts we're all pretty familiar with but I admittedly have only started to learn its deeper meaning this evening. We as souls are attracted to other souls through a sense of humanity. That junk of part of my humanity. That junk is part of what makes my soul beautiful.
So guys, love thy junk. Because junk is endearing.
Look how far you've come. First off, I wanted to congratulate you for making it this far. For the courage to open up to something beautiful. Hopefully this means you've learned to dance through life (with a partner) and play nicely and to love with more of yourself. I hope he (or she) is wonderful and kind and beautiful and warm.
Don't forget how much you love your life. Don't forget to dream for yourself even after learning how to dream with another and for another. Don't forget how beautiful your dreams are. Don't forget to dream big when you can and don't forget to be practical too. Don't forget to keep some dreams for yourself but not in a selfish way. This is you remembering that you are your own. These little dreams will guide you back to you.
Don't forget to daydream. Don't forget you've always wanted children but also give yourself the chance to change your mind too. Don't forget to give yourself the chance to change your mind on anything. Be gentle with yourself.
Don't forget how much you like your solitude. Remember to honor it. Remember to enjoy it. But remember not to get lost in it. Remember to come out into the world again. Live knowing that you can always come back to that solitude, that you are here and there and everywhere.
Don't forget to give in to your curiosity once in a while. Know which ones are worth it and which ones aren't. Be smart about it. Remember that curiosity is your way of experiencing romance and adventure for yourself. Curiosity is essential to your spirit.
Dont forget how great it will be no matter what happens. Dont forget life always works itself out. Dont forget to be grateful. Remember your place in eternity. Eternity is our inheritance. Joy is your essence.
I wish you joy and love and power and beauty and learning. The truth is you are already all of these.
I'll know you because my skin will want to smell you
My ears will want to see what they hear
My eyes will want to touch what they can see
MY nose will want to taste what it can smell
And my tongue will want to hear how you smell and sound and feel like
Slowly the soul will remember.
What if you didn't have to work so hard?
What if you didn't have to be so stressed to reach your dreams?
What if you could dream for the sake of dreaming?
What if you could achieve for the sake of achieving, just because you can?
What if you could enjoy your work?
What if you didn't have to worry about money and how to keep it flowing - what would you do with your time?
What if you could focus without stress? Without pushing yourself to the limit?
What if you knew what you were doing and no longer need anyone else, including yourself, to tear off the Band Aid to keep moving forward?
What if you knew when to move forward and what that next step looked and felt like?
What if moving forward is different for you?
What if you realized your truth is different from anyone else's?
What if your whole being believed that your experience is just as good as everyone else?
What if it all didn't hurt?
What if there was no pain, no drama?
Where would you be?
What would it look like?
How would it feel like?
Ramblings of the soul.